Halfway to Heaven
--els 06.17.04

sacred soulmates lost in time
vow of eternity sworn
reunite next time around
that time never came
wrong year - wrong place
continually miss the mark
one way out
escape the revolving door
make this journey end

forever slumber
rendez vous
final date with Destini
time means nothing
location is a state of mind
embrace in the darkness
here in the never
the search is over
eternity once again

Blue Sky Lament
--els 06.21.04

Calm almost tranquil
So soothing
So disarming
Guard dropped
Anticipating no storm in sight
Lulled into security
Celebration begins too soon
Watching blue skies
Weep with admission of terror
Apology drowned beneath
The rolling thunder
Too late to take cover
Standing uncovered
Unsuspecting as the lightning
Crashes down
Oh, the blue skies can be so deceiving
Standing in the rain
Tears, now mine,
Fell like the only warm
I may ever know

Beyond the sparkle of your eyes
-- els 07.06.04

Were my eyes never to have gazed upon yours
would I ever be able to love you less?
Your beauty which resonates and sparkles
though grand in it's own right
is not the reason you are my one
true love
it is your mind, your passion
your deep and meandering thoughts
which cut thru my existance
like a river bent on carving
a lasting impression upon my soul
which draw me deeper and deeper
into a place where love only wished
to have so much passion
a place beyond infinity
unconditional and eternal
a place where an embrace lasts lifetimes
and a smile can be felt
in a blink of of the most amazing mind

As Destini Watches the Timeless Reunion
--els 07.08.04

oh the irony -- the joy of perspective
thru one's eyes she is a star
radiating and brilliant
thru the other's
she sits bleeding upon a rocky path
not sure of her way
all the while leading his

guardians and guides
angels and signs
both unto each other
all seeing into another's fate
yet blind to one's own
rocky paths will be surmounted
changing tides will flow

Destini sits upon her celestial throne
thinking back generations
thru time when these two lovers
first formed the heavens
When turmoil and chaos
attempted to keep the moon
from his maiden star

When all of nighttime lay in darkness
she smiles at their reunion
though far apart as it had once been
she knows that sure as the sun shines by day
the moon and the star will
always be of one heart one soul
and until time ceases

Path to Me Begins with You
--els 07.15.04

Uneven, unlevel and unfair
is a gravel path strewn with rocks
feet tired and bleeding
back numb from sleeping upon
a bed of nails and egg shells
unable to move
scared to speak your mind
no one calls when help is needed
no one seems to heed your words
No one said the path would be easy
but yet, from the ground
holding a wounded toe
watching the world race past
somehow you know
it was not meant to be this difficult
maybe it is the wrong path
could that be the set back?
the path of most resistance
resisted you
in favor of another way
you were reaching for the moon
and have now realized
you also have to look to the stars
you must first find yourself
in order to find your way to me

More than most know
--els 01.20.05

The light in your eyes sparkles thru spectacles which possess the power to see deep within my soul
the further naked I become before you, the greater your intrigue
never running, never hesitating
pushing forward looking deeper - showing more
a montage of memories flashed before my eyes
giving me insight into that power you have of seeing me
at each frame I melt a little more
mesmorized by your eyes - captivated in your smile
amazed by the fact that you have learned so much and have not shied away
my only wish would be to hold a looking glass before those spectacles
allowing you to see in yourself a fraction of what you see in me
and a sliver of what I see when I look into your eyes

boiling thoughts
--els 01.25.05

hot water flows over the spinning head
scolding the flesh to swell bright crimson
still not hot enough
I can still think
I scream
The water doesn't seem to mind
since no one else cares
wishing for something to numb my senses
it hurts to feel
feeling my heartbeat in my fingertips
not hot enough
I can't scream loud enough
I think entirely too much
head still spins
so much I want to say
I need to say
you won't listen
warped rational explains it all
I can't reason
I can't make it make sense
I can't breathe
fingertips blaring to the beat of my screams
praying to be numb

UnDying
--els() 01.31.05

I swore eternity and set out to find it
you asked me to join you in heaven
like a fool I agreed
and you did your best to lead me closer
everyday I die a little more
my shell crumbles around me
as eternity fades to mortality
you need her
but there is no need to join her yet
your attempt to get there
caused you to leave me
heaven no longer awaits
I return to Destini
the prodigal moon
hoping she will once again accept me
believe that I am committed til the end
I have seen it
from a rocky cliff
fires - panic - death
then nothing
but me
this is my Fate
I had strayed
good luck in heaven
tell her the messenger appologizes for failing
let her know I tried
you are hers now
The Brook is still flowing
soon to flow wildly
I will watch
and smile
and harvest the fruits which grew from her nutrients
but my time here has passed
I return to walk the only path I know
until the end
undying

[and she will]
--els 02.01.05

Far away and just out of reach
my only source of comfort is
being kept from me
I want her by my side
but she wants to take it slow
day by day by day
taking care of what she needs
This could take months or years
she has no idea
she's willing to stay the course
locked up away from me
When do I rank
When do I matter
when do I take a stand
and figure out what I want
when all I want is you
I must give you my trust
and wait for you to come to me

Wash Over Me
--els 02.07.05

the flood is rising again
waves of emotion crash down on me
the lonely surfer caught off guard
my board lies broken on the shore
leaving me victim to the undertow
circling and spinning blindly
I have no footing
no bearing
tides turning
craving just one breath
one moment of clarity
to reach my head above the water
I instead drink you in
and allow this turrent water
to seal my Fate

Reflections in the rising flood waters
--els 01.18.05

The flood waters rise
but contained causing them to still
I find my footing at the edge
looking down into her water
I see me
reflected in a way I had never seen myself before
everything I have ever believed
made clear
as the flood turns to the mirror
a gazing pool I wish she could use
to see herself

Virtual Valentine
--els 02.15.05

Blinking squares of humour, wit and irony
flash above words of hope
of love from a distance
the greatest people I may never meet
sent by Cupid himself
virtual hugs and kisses
punctuating smiles of punctuation
across a face represented in my own
square
not blinking
not flashing
not witty or ironic
but still the compliments and the warmth
continued to come
feeling so surrounded by support
instead of the cold reality of loneliness
My appreciation was obvious and vocal
but they may never know the impact
of their kindness

Would You?
--els 02.21.05

Do you think it is possible for me to ever show you happiness?
Given the chance I would try
I would lift you up in my arms
allow you to know security in warmth
I would lay you down in a field of flowers
so that you and I could gaze at the stars
showing you what my sky looks like
with each star reflecting back at you
a glimpse into the beauty they see
while looking into your eyes
your mind
the darkest reaches of your soul
which you lock away deep
fear of allowing in more pain
all the while hurting yourself
I would take you places you have not been
experience a brilliance of sensations
no one has ever taught you to feel
leave you with a love for yourself,
not based on my praise
but your own,
and a beautiful smile on your face
because if you allowed me to show you happiness
I would